The End of Sunday Funday...

Aaaaand, to complete my Sunday Funday...my cat got diarrhea on me.

Sunday Fundays, starring Sarah and Nadeen

Now, I know many of you engage in the celebration of “Sunday Funday” on a weekly basis…but let me share with you what that means for my roommate Sarah and me.

The world is our oyster really, and no Sunday Funday is ever the same. For example…this past summer, Sunday Funday consisted of anything from sunning ourselves at the most exclusive of Cleveland’s Country Clubs to a good old fashioned pool party right in our own backyard. Winter, however, has presented an interesting challenge for us young fun-seekers.
The most memorable Sunday Funday of late occurred rather unexpectedly at The Happiest Place on Earth. No, not Disney World…Nordstrom. Beachwood to be specific. Just as Sarah and I were about to complete our 4 hour shopping tour de mall…we remembered we had yet to visit Nordies. Thinking we only had but a few moments to drool in the shoe and accessory departments, we rushed to catch a glimpse of all the wonderful things neither of us can really afford.

As we walked into the Pearly Gates, it seemed as though there was an unusual buzz, a feeling of excitement not normal for ten minutes before closing on a Sunday evening. Then, I spotted a woman with a cocktail. Then, I spotted a woman with a glass of wine. Then, we discovered that these libations were FREE and being handed out left and right to Nordstroms best customers, who all had been invited to an exclusive shopping event after normal business hours. And Sarah and I had walked in just in the nick of time.

Three cocktails later…we had tried on every accessory in the store and smelled every perfume and decided it was best to leave, lest we need to call a cab to pick us up from Beachwood Place. That, my friends, is a successful Sunday Funday. This week, however…we have opted for the “Stay Warm and Don’t Die in a Forseeable Car Accident Because There is a Blizzard” kind of Sunday. And it has just occurred to us now, at midnight, that we should open a bottle of champagne. And so we have, as we watch repeats of Jersey Shore in our pajamas, and apply hand cream.

So, never underestimate the fun that can be had on a Sunday. All you need is a good friend, a good cocktail and six over-tan guidos and guidettes with a questionable vocabulary.

Christmas Shopping Day One

(Written December 21, 2009)
The season is upon us! Yes, that wonderful time of year when we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Or, for us non-Christians or non-delusionals...the time of year when we spend a shit ton of money on stuff for people who won't appreciate it. No no, I'm just kidding...that's not always the case, and truthfully...I LOVE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!!!

Even though I didn't grow up in a home where we celebrated Christmas, it's still the most magical time of the year to me. I should mention that when I was a little girl my parents felt bad for my sister and I so they psuedo-celebrated Christmas. They didn't want us to feel left out when all our friends were getting presents so they used to buy us a few presents to open on christmas day when we were very young. I should also mention that although we did put up Christmas lights outside, we did NOT have a Christmas tree. Soooo...our presents, that we wouldn run to find on Christmas morning...were under the dining room table. Yep...dining room table. But hey, it had a long table cloth on it so they were totally concealed. Don't judge.

Anyway, I just started my Christmas shopping today...four days before Christmas. I woke up and headed straight to Target.* I walked through the automatic doors expecting the worst: chaos, long lines, a dwindling inventory, but instead found the store to be fairly quiet and pretty normal. I got the few things on my list and was out of the store in 30 minutes. Could this be a sign of what's to come for the rest of my holiday shopping? Has the recession slowed Christmas again this year?

A few errands later and now after 12:00 noon...I figured Beachwood Place would be just as quiet as Target, if not quieter. Until I went into Banana Republic. And walked out of Banana Republic. I'm sorry...but no sweater is worth waiting in a 6 mile line for. Not even a cashmere blend, baby soft, fits like a glove, dream sweater that's 50% off. Ok, so I went back and bought the sweater. And ok, so it was for me...but I hid it under some full price menswear until I could come back when the line to pay was shorter. Experience people. I call that experience!

By the end of day one...I had no one completely off my list. I did however, have a great new outfit to wear for shopping day number two.




*Mecca

The Birthday Blog

So, yesterday was my birthday...

I HATE EFFING BIRTHDAYS! And no, not in the "God, I'm getting old and can't deal with it" kind of way, but in the "I have such high expectations of my birthday that anything short of Oprah throwing me a surprise party on national television will be a letdown" sort of way.

I don't know why I do this to myself. I have plans to go out and celebrate with all of my friends on Friday, but in the mean time I'm so disappointed by my actual birthday. Of course, I should have known that a Monday wouldn't be the most happenin time to celebrate my big 2-7, but somehow I still expected fireworks. Doesn't the mayor know how important I am? Shouldn't all of my friends have the day off of work so they can celebrate with me the whole entire day?

I even took off of work. I mean, I didn't really have plans but the idea of working on my birthday is inherently depressing. What a disasterous idea that was. I slept in til about noon...watched Sex and the City in bed until about two o'clock, and didn't even leave the house until almost three! I had hopes of going to the art museum by myself and wandering the halls a la Carrie Bradshaw when she was "dating her city"...but of fricking course, the art museum is closed on Mondays! FML.

All in all, I went out to eat at a couple great restaurants and had a few cocktails. It was an above average day for a Monday, yet I was still talking myself down from a ledge. After 27 years, I still expect a parade and fireworks on December 14th every year. Perhaps its time I actually grow up and just be happy for what I do have...even if it is my birthday.

Ahh, who am I kidding? I'll be pissed until Friday.

The Hundred Dollar Man

So, as many of you may know already...I happen to be making my living as a bartender during this rough economic climate. It's been pretty lucrative and other than the abnormal hours, I can't complain too much about the job overall. What I will say is that by the time last call rolls around...I tend to hate everyone that comes within eyesight. That is, until tonight...

I had a group of four people at the end of my bar toward the end of the night. The gentlemen who appeared to be the youngest in the group took charge and ordered a few expensive bottles of wine. They had a few appetizers and were a pretty low maintenance bunch. I gave the check to the younger gentleman when he asked for it...ran his credit card...said thank you and goodbye and sent them on their way.

Well, a few minutes later one of my coworkers who was helping me clean off the bar came over with the signed receipt and said to me "well aren't you the cats meow?"

"Why yes I am." is what I wanted to say, but it occured to me I should ask why she would randomly say that to me. My question was answered when I looked at the receipt. The gentleman's tab was $185...HE TIPPED ME $100!!! Holy shit! Someone has finally realized my worth and given me the gratitude I deserve! Well, that's sort of what I thought, but mostly I was flabbergasted, overwhelmed, and somehow even a little embarassed. And no...he never hit on me or flirted or did anything other than drink his wine and eat his pommes frites.

The point is..that man made my night and reminded me that some people are really just kind and wonderful. I hope to be able to pay it forward one day...but in the meantime...there is a pair of bcbg max azria pumps with my name on them.

I'm off to bed for now. So, goodnight everyone...and remember- tip your bartenders!

Single Lady Boots

As it turns out, I'm not meant to celebrate my birthday with a significant other this year either. Yes, my birthday is approaching (Monday, December 14th...contact me for an address where gifts can be mailed).

The good news is, Jason got me the boots I have been drooling over since I "accidentally tried them on at Bloomingdale's in Chicago. So...I think I will wear these while I dance alone all week...try and stop me.

Guidos & Guidettes

I am currently watching "Jersey Shore" on MTV.

How is it humanly possible that so many people...so close to the fashion capital of the world...could be such an aesthetic disaster?! I am absolutely horrified. Is there some kind of bubble surrounding Staten Island?

This "Snooki" broad has somehow managed to completely avoid using a "bump-it" and with shear will power has managed to create the largest, Fran Drescher-inspired mountain on top of her otherwise empty head.

If one of these bozo dudes attempted to talk to me I think I would actually become ill.

I have comments about each of these over-tan mush mouth fools, but I think this Blog has a word maximum. Thank you MTV for making me appreciate the men of Cleveland. Hell, thank you for making me appreciate the men of Saudi Arabia.